Dear Evie and Dee,

At Highlands, the most frustrating thing is that everyone is always judging. I constantly feel like I’m being judged regardless of what is happening. The pressure is always to be perfect, which can be very frustrating and overwhelming at times.

Sincerely, 

Judged in FT 

Dear Judged in FT,

Unfortunately, judgment is inevitable. We wish we could tell you otherwise, but that’s the truth. It’s nearly impossible to be a teenager without ever feeling insecure or self-conscience, and if you feel that way, you’re not alone. Sometimes this constant pressure can be very overwhelming, but there are ways that you can handle it.

• First step: Look at the big picture. This is obviously very cliche, but for some people, this really helps. Remember that high school does not last forever. In fact, it is only 4 years of your life. Before you know it, high school will be over. That really embarrassing thing that you did in 9th grade that you thought nobody would forget – that will only be a distant memory or maybe even a funny story for your kids one day. High school is rough, but you can make it through 4 years, just in time to get a fresh start in college.
• Second step: Realize your own judgments. It’s easy to notice other people judging you, but it’s harder to see the little judgments you make of other people on a daily basis. Don’t take it personally, because it is human nature to make judgments and criticize others. Focusing on fixing your personal judgments of others and yourself and can help you deal with external judgment. According to Jill P. Weber, clinical psychologist, try changing the focus of your judgments. Instead of just saying a blunt or harsh comment, be constructive and realize why you are judging someone. Come up with a legitimate problem, not just a general insult.
• Third step: Be yourself. In a few years, you’ll regret spending your high school years conforming to other people’s expectations. Take this time to express yourself and take risks. Don’t let anyone else tell you how to dress or act. You are in charge of yourself and your decisions.

Sincerely,

Evie and Dee

Dear Evie and Dee,

Your ACT score doesn’t define you and if you don’t get a good score at Highlands, you’re not dumb. It’s normal to score in the 20s. I feel like we are judged for not earning a 36.

Sincerely, 

Frustrated at Highlands

Dear Frustrated at Highlands,

A lot of students here feel the same way. The ACT can be very stressful. It’s important to try your best on the ACT, but don’t be discouraged by a lower score. At Highlands, the average score from the class of 2018 was a 25. If you don’t get a 36 on the ACT, you are not alone. Only 1/10 of 1% in the country get a 36. Never feel pressure to get a 36, because even though students at Highlands in the past have gotten this score, this doesn’t mean that you have to. Your ACT score does not define your intelligence or your future. In fact, you may not even need the ACT to go to college. Many schools have started going test optional, meaning that they don’t require you to submit an ACT or SAT score at all. For example, Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky is a test-optional college. Also, a lot of arts-based colleges are test optional, focusing more on talent than test scores or grades. College-Conservatory of Music (CCM) at the University of Cincinnati focuses on the audition and application, rather than looking at test scores. A full list of colleges that are test optional can be found here.

Sincerely,

Evie and Dee

Dear Evie and Dee,

I’m a major procrastinator, and by major I mean I put off my homework until late and usually don’t finish until 2:00 in the morning. It’s starting to become a problem, but I just can’t find the motivation or force myself to do work I don’t exactly want to work on. Anyway, I can help myself? Thanks!

Sleepless Procrastinator at HHS

Dear Sleepless Procrastinator at HHS,

There are many ways that you can help combat this issue. If you’re having trouble finding the motivation to work, try a reward system. Study for a class or work on homework for 20 minutes and when that time is up, reward yourself with a snack, or a few minutes of your favorite TV show. From a psychological standpoint, chunking work up into time rather than assignments helps us to be more efficient. Focus on the task in front of you, and don’t overwhelm yourself with everything else you have to do. If you feel yourself getting off task, don’t force yourself to keep working. Don’t be afraid to take a break, it’s better than overworking yourself. Just make sure that you always set a timer for yourself so you can get back on track after your break. Obviously, you won’t be able to stop procrastinating overnight, it will take time to establish a routine. Just keep working at it and never be afraid to ask for help!

Sincerely,

Evie and Dee

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