Social media is woven into the lives of teenagers and students. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok offer a view of perfect selfies, vacation dreams, and trending outfits. Behind the filters and feeds is a quieter reality. One where students feel the need to show a version of themselves that doesn’t completely match real life.
In a 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association, 60% of teens reported they felt pressured to look completely perfect online, and showed this contributed to raised levels of anxiety and depression.
“I feel like I have a clean aesthetic so, I feel like maybe I kind of wanna make myself look a little bit more put together than I am in real life,” Ava Ireland (10) said.
The drive to appear put together and in a particular sense online is common among students. It’s not always about the deception of reality, it’s often about fitting in, and being admired, while keeping up with the changing social trends.
“I feel like I do a lot, when I see people who I think are really pretty, I’ll get a little bit jealous. I feel like it can kind of make you feel a little bit bad about yourself,” Ireland said.
As students are shelled with what seems like perfect content, it can be hard to differentiate fiction from reality. The social pressure to maintain an ideal online identity can lead to emotional distress.
Research shown in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology showed that 45% of teens felt worse about their image after spending time on social media.
“Everyone reacts differently. Some students may shut down and start to become anti-social. Others may go to extremes and make major changes in their physical appearance or decisions they are making,” Counselor Ann Listerman said.
Creating a better relationship with social media requires awareness and support from every educator and family. It means setting limits which is something that feels unnatural in a constant connection to social media platforms.
In the 2024 report by Common Sense Media, 70% of teens admitted to feeling the need to take breaks from social media to deflect from burnout.
“Students have to have boundaries for themselves when it comes to social media. It is easy for anyone to become ‘addicted’ to their phones and social media. Set a timer to go off to tell yourself you need to step away. Have expectations for yourself,” Listerman said.
The influence of social media extends beyond appearance, it also changes how students accept success and self worth. Platforms are filled with highlights of achievements and luxury, which causes these students to feel as though they are falling behind or not holding up to a standard.
A study from the University of Pennsylvania found that high social media use was linked to heavier feelings of depression in young adults.
“There is definitely an increase in self-esteem and anxiety with students because of social media. People fail to realize everything that is on social media is not real. So many images and videos of people are manipulated or photo shopped. However, people take what they see as real life and unfortunately it is not,” Listerman said.
As students continue to navigate the world of digital self-presence and as counselors like Listerman work to support them, the more we acknowledge the hole between appearance and reality, the closer we get to using social media in a way that uplifts rather than degrades self-worth.
