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Dear Evie and Dee: Shifting Friend Groups

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Dear Evie and Dee,

 

I feel kind of stuck in a bad friend group right now. I don’t share any of their beliefs and I don’t really feel like I belong with them, but I’m too scared to branch out. I have other friends, but I’m a little too nervous to leave my current group because I’ve been friends with them for so long.

 

Sincerely,

Feeling Stuck

 

Dear Feeling Stuck,

 

Friendships shift around all the time, especially in high school. As you start to mature, meet new people, and find new interests, it’s very common to drift away from your friends, despite how long you have known them. It’s awful to feel stuck with a group that you don’t feel as if you belong in, and our best advice is to move on. It’s not easy, but it’s the best thing to do for yourself. Having the same beliefs as your friends may not be important for everyone, but for some people it’s crucial. It helps to have friends that you can be open with. It’s not easy to have to limit what you can talk about for fear of an argument. If having friends with the same beliefs as you is important, then make it a priority. There are always people out there that will agree with you.

 

However, this is easier said than done. Some friendships drift apart naturally, but sometimes they end very suddenly. Try gradually spending more time with your other friends, and a little less time with your usual friend group. You don’t have to completely cut them out of your life, but don’t feel obligated to stay friends with them. If you feel stuck, then make small gradual steps to get out. Just try eating lunch with a different group every once in a while. Eventually, you might have to have a conversation. If it gets to this point, just be honest and let them know that you don’t feel like you belong and that you need friends that share your beliefs. This may be hard for them to hear, but in the long run it’s for the best. Sometimes you just have to put your own well-being first.

 

Sincerely,

Evie and Dee

 

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Dear Evie and Dee: Shifting Friend Groups