Mediocre Kitchen Madness: May Edition!
– Hola me llamo Maggie…
– …y me llamo Haley…
– …and welcome to the LAST OFFICIAL MEDIOCRE KITCHEN MADNESS EVERRRRRR!
– Yes, that’s right. We’re graduating at the end of the month which means we’ll have to retire our beloved cooking column.
– *sigh* It’s going to be a very sad moment indeed. However, we definitely didn’t skimp on our final recipe.
– I mean… we might have been a little less ambitious than usual, but, definitely, no skimping.
– Yeah, the original plan was to make a lemon blueberry tart, but that was quoted to take four hours, and senioritis said that four hours was four hours too long.
– So, we decided to instead make a tried and true fan favorite, Oreo Balls!
– Although both of us already have the recipe memorized by heart, we still found a recipe on the famous Sally’s Baking Addiction website for anyone else to follow.
– We did make one slight…
– …major…
– …okay, major, modification to the recipe. Instead of using Golden Oreos, we used the regular ones.
– Which, in my opinion, are much better, but that’s just a personal preference.
– Now, without further ado, onto the very simple, short list of ingredients!
Ingredients:
- 1 package cream cheese (8 oz.), softened
- 1 package regular Oreos (or any Oreos)
- 12 oz. high-quality white chocolate or semisweet chocolate
- Sprinkles (optional)
Process the Oreos in a food processor until finely blended.
– We blended about ten Oreos at a time, with the exception of five Oreos at the end, totaling 45 Oreos.
– We may or may not have broken the food processor during round three, but it magically started working again.
– By magically, we mean that the blade popped off and needed to be reset.
– Safety *is* a priority… though it may not appear that way.
Use a handheld or stand mixer with a paddle attachment to combine the softened cream cheese with the Oreo crumbs until combined.
– We LOVE the stand mixer here at the Mediocre Kitchen Madness headquarters.
– AKA Haley’s mom’s kitchen.
– However, the stand mixer was a little shaky yesterday and threw out some dough.
– Maybe because we forgot to lock it?
– Yeahhh…that could be the reason…
Roll dough into 30-35 balls using your hands. Each ball should be around 1” in diameter.
– If you have eaten some of the dough prior to this step, you may get a few less balls.
– Are you implying that you ate some of the dough, Maggie?
– Just a little… more than a little.
Place dough balls on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet and freeze them for about a half-hour.
– This was the longest thirty minutes ever.
– But if we didn’t wait, then the chocolate at the end wouldn’t coat the balls properly.
– True, true. Good things come to those who wait.
Melt the chocolate according to package directions.
– We ended up adding a teaspoon of Crisco to the chocolate melts in order to make them more soft and easy to dip.
– Beforehand it was a sticky mess and just clumped up.
Take the balls out of the freezer and coat them evenly in the melted chocolate.
– We most definitely failed at this step, but oh well.
– Every single ball was missing chocolate on the top and there was a wide ring around the bottom… they didn’t look fancy, but they tasted fancy.
Top with sprinkles while the chocolate is still wet.
– We also failed at this step…
– … but sprinkles are overrated anyway.
– One lucky Oreo ball got four shark sprinkles, though.
Place in the fridge for ten minutes until the chocolate sets before eating.
– We ended up putting them back in the FREEZER for another half hour, which was not only a painfully long time to wait but hardened them a bit too much.
– They made a full recovery, though, after a few minutes on the counter.
Remove from the fridge and serve! They can stay fresh for five days in the fridge or up to 2-3 months in the freezer.
– As I expected, these were absolutely delicious! Even with our… bloopers… there’s really no way to mess up an Oreo Ball. 10/10!
– I completely agree! 10/10!
Thank you for reading the May edition of Mediocre Kitchen Madness. If you try this recipe, email pictures to [email protected] or [email protected].
As the conclusion of our last official edition, we would like to thank Haley’s mom for guiding us through these entertaining recipes and Scrub Daddy for cleaning some sticky ingredients off of various mixing bowls and stirring tools. Also, we’d like to thank our one or two faithful readers for putting up with this madness.
Thanks, crew. It’s been a wild ride.
🙂
Your donation will support the student journalists of Highlands High School - KY. Your contribution will allow us to cover our annual website hosting costs.